Melih O.

Mass consuming my media

Micky started watching the CBS sitcom, “The Good Wife”, and we’re both hooked. I know the show has been on for a while, and that the reviews have been good, but we haven’t gotten into it before.

It got me thinking about how I consume TV these days.

I really got into “Bones” during season 6. I then found it on Netflix, and binged through it. Same thing with “Burn Notice”. And now, I’m working my way through “Star Trek: TNG” since I saw them in real-time, but I was 7 – 10 years old.

I actually get upset about the Christmas and Summer breaks that shows go on in real-time. I hate having to wait one week at a time to catch the next episode. And it really bugs me that I can only catch shows that are either on Hulu or only after they get to DVD and onto Netflix.

My model of consumption is a completely different model of consumption from how TV is designed.

Netflix gets this. That’s why House of Cards was released all at once. I didn’t get it when it was released, but as I jump from episode to episode of these shows, I totally get it now.

Once sports leagues figure out how to make money from the cable-free crowd (and MLB is leading the pack on this one with MLB.tv), I’m going to be an epically happy, TV-watching dude.

All you can eat seems to be swarming media. Music had it forced onto it; TV is being disrupted by new players; but books are sticking to the old ways.

I’ve been looking for a mass consume way to do my one book a month resolution. The SF library has a pretty awesome e-book collection, but a lot of them are browser only. Classics seem to be really hard to find in e-book format, and I’m not finding a simple way to just have a small, digital library from which I can pull books and read.

I wonder if this gap in the market is something that will doom books.

I also wonder if this gap could be filled not for finished books, but as a way for author’s to connect with their audience, crowd source different endings of a book, create an environment for fan fiction to grow, and make distribution a central part of the entire process.

If music artists need concerts and to sell t-shirts in a post-CD world, then what’s the platform for authors? And how do I mass consume books?

Fatherhood, Uncategorized 0

Luka singing

Luka started singing the “ABCs” today.

Our bedtime routine is quite consistent. The kids tend to watch an episode of Curious George (movie or TV version is a nightly debate). Then, after a bit of a temper tantrum (but less so than before), we head to their bedroom to read, sing songs, and then go to bed.

Our book choices are plenty, but we tend to have the same book over and over again for a few nights in a row. Right now, we’re jamming to “One fish, Two fish”, some Maisy books, and “We’re going on a bear hunt”. Other favorites include anything by Susan Boynton and “Goodnight moon”.

After reading (anywhere from 1-3 books), Amelia turns the light off, and we sing.

The first song is always the “ABCs”, and then we do any variety of “Old MacDonald”, “Baa Baa Black Sheep”, “Itsy Bitsy Spider”, and then we always put the kids to bed to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”.

Clearly, through it all, Luka has heard his “ABCs” enough to start to sing it now, and tonight it was super cute. He got to “E”, and then when we joined him he got so embarrassed that he dug his head into the ground.

It was fantastic.

Long may he sing.

New Year Resolutions, Uncategorized 0

2014 resolutions

2014 is here! and it’s going to be a big one (I’m turning 30!).

In 2013, I gave up soda for my New Year’s resolution. I killed it (I only had 24 oz all year), and my waist line agrees. I really missed soda though. In 2012 when I gave up fast food, it was actually really easy. This year, between accessibility and stress, I really wanted soda. I’m giving myself a six-pack of Mountain Dew to celebrate, and then I’ll get back off of it again.

For 2014, my New Year’s resolutions are:

No french fries or onion rings (except during Seker Bayrami at the end of Ramazan)
Read one book per month
Blog everyday

Micky and I also have a work/life balance agreement, but I’m not sure how to make it a resolution, because I don’t know how to measure it…

I really like throwing resolutions out in the open so that others can help me stay the course. If you have some resolutions, and you need someone to help you, then let me know. I’ll help hold you to it.

Have a wonderful 2014 everyone

just thinking out loud, Uncategorized 0

Why doesn’t diversity include religion?

I went to visit a preschool for Amelia on Wednesday. There are a lot of really great things about it – an amazing play space, lots of focus on the arts and music, cool teachers.

One of their primary focuses, and selling points really, is their diversity. They talked about diversity of family – one parent, two parents, many parents. They talked about diversity in race. They even mentioned socio-economics (but it was quite hard to see around the school as we walked around).

I fell in love with the school more and more as we saw a music class, students doing all sorts of cool art projects, and the AMAZING play space.

We got to the end, and they started to speak about their end of week international music and dance event. This week is going to be holiday season themed, and the director of the school emphasized that they would minimize the role of religion. In my head I wanted to scream, “WHY!?!”.

There’s a very real trend in Californian liberalism that speaks to a diverse culture that excludes Christians. It may just generally exclude religion, but it very explicitly excludes Christians. I don’t understand that train of thought at all, and I find it rather offensive that anyone who can accept that there is a higher power and subscribes to the mythology surrounding that is cast out as a right-wing, narrow-minded nut job.

There is no holiday season without Christmas, and there is no Christmas without Christianity. There are plenty of things that radical Christians do that drives me crazy. Their stance on homosexuality. The hypocrisy I see in the South and Midwest around charity and government’s role in helping the poor. But I would never exclude Christians from a conversation because it’s an uncomfortable one. That’s a very narrow minded view of the world.

I also similarly doubt that there is nearly as big a deal made of not emphasizing the religious aspects of the other cultures that are celebrated in this weekly event. I can’t say for sure as I’ve never seen it, but if a culture celebrates its faith through music and dance, and the kids are singing and dancing, then I just don’t understand the difference.

I think there’s a genuine distrust of religion on the coasts in the US. Somehow we need to walk off of this cliff and disassociate religion with fanaticism and zealotry. The goal would be, of course, to re-introduce religion into civil discourse, and understand that intelligent minds can disagree and both be right.

Cutting religion out of the holiday season is the anti-thesis of that.

Fatherhood, Uncategorized 0

A first kiss

Another short post for time keeping sake. I got my first proper smooch from Luka today. I conned Amelia into giving me a kiss to get something, and I turned to Luka and said, “Now you too Luka.”

He puckered up, and planted one on my cheek.

It was wonderful 🙂

Fatherhood, just thinking out loud, Life Updates, Uncategorized 0

A body at rest stays at rest unless acted upon

Saturday morning – filled with shrieks of joy. Pancakes sizzle in the frying pan. Amelia carts off to gym with Micky. Luka and I sit and watch the late Premier League soccer game while testing the boundaries of how much a son can do to drive his father crazy without injury or death entering the equation.

Lunch. Nap time. Swimming.

A young family tradition of fish sticks after swimming fulfilled with a stroll through the aisles of Whole Foods on the way home. Often a cheese stick, a bunch of grapes, or a chocolate bar fall victim to the the grabbing hands of a toddler.

Dinner. Bath time. Curious George. Stories. Songs. Bed.

Then silence – an envelope of exhaustion and thought.

From the thought has been an overbearing sense of isolation – friends not seen (weeks, months, and years); phone calls not made; a series of physical connections lost.

A constant conflict between being present as a father, a husband, and a friend. Not knowing how to balance my own triumvirate, inertia decides. And inertia finds me at home with cartoons one moment, and wrapped in a blanket next to Micky falling asleep to a movie that only just started the next.

I miss my friends. Mea culpa for the moments lost. I adore my family, with no regrets for the memories created.

The conflict continues without resolution. Only a next chapter…

Fatherhood, Uncategorized 0

ISO: Recipe for freezing kids in this moment

What a wonderful week of Amelia and Luka.

We spent last week in North Carolina visiting family and friends. It’s amazing to me how much they trust Doruk even though they barely see him. Maybe a month ago I would have said barely know him, but after this past week I know better than that. To know someone is clearly more than to have their presence be consistent in day-to-day life, but it took a 2.5 year old to teach me that.

Micky headed over the UK for a few days, and so the flight back was the three of us. They did wonderfully, and the folks on the plane made sure to say as much. Everyone is so impressed when a man can take his kids on his own on long haul flights. We’re definitely not post-sexism by any stretch of the imagination. Even so, I appreciate the accolades, and so let me not complain too much 🙂

Amelia had her 2.5 year old checkup on Wednesday. After screwing up the time, and moving things around at work, we finally got the ball rolling. Measurements came in at:

38.5″ tall (> 100th percentile)
35 lbs (75th percentile)
Smart, fun and awesome (okay, I made this one up)

The doctor suggested she get her flu shot, and so we buckled down and got ready (read, I buckled down and got ready). Amelia walked into the hallway, saw the nurse, and asked, “What’s that little girl doing?” (which is her token question about everyone these days). I explained that she was get Amelia’s shot ready, and then the nurse said that after she got her shot Amelia could get a sticker.

Amelia immediately responded with, “I want my shot.”

I wonder if any nurse has ever heard that before! When all was ready, and Amelia was in my lap, they rolled up her sleeve, pricked her, and… no tears, no fuss, just a request to go get her stickers.

It was AMAZING!

The next morning, Amelia decided to sleep in while Luka and I played in the living room before Noelle got here. He’s grown up so much in the last six weeks. Words. Opinions. Laughter. And the best smile I’ve ever seen. Luka smiles, and the world lights up. It’s truly amazing.

Then, today, the two of them chase each other around the house, “cook” breakfast, only eat the chocolate chips, and generally make an ordinary Saturday extraordinary. Amelia tops it all off by saying, “I’ll do the dishes” in a way only Amelia could.

So if anyone has a recipe for freezing these moments, and making sure they never go away, please let me know.

just thinking out loud, Uncategorized 3

Good-bye 28. You were an adventure

I turn 29 tomorrow, and I want to tell the story of 28 through photos. I also want to stop for a moment, and just say that I genuinely understand how lucky I am. I don’t have many friends, but the ones I have are incredible. I don’t have many passions, but the ones I do are incredibly rewarding. And I don’t have my heart in own hands, but the family that I’ve entrusted it to has done nothing but reward me for that faith. I learned all of that this past year in such unique and amazing ways. Good-bye 28. You were quite an adventure.

November 2012

: Birthday cake celebrating my 28th birthday in Churt, Surrey, UK

: Visiting my Uncle and his beautiful wife in Paris

: Uncle James left the US for the first time to join us in the UK and Portugal

December 2012

: The family visited my maternal grandmother in Ankara

: Then we hopped over to Izmir to visit my paternal grandmother, aunt, and her family

: Went to see Stonehenge. It was massively underwhelming, but now it’s done

: This was my first Fairbank party. Lisa turned 40, and we school house rocked the night away

: Doruk and I went to the West Brom/Norwich game. My first EPL game! West Brom won 2-1

January 2013

: Aydin on his annual visit to Las Vegas and San Francisco. This is one of my favorite family traditions.

April 2013

: Mommy went out of town, and we went strawberry picking!

May 2013

: We went to the Grand Canyon in a 31 foot camper. Dede came, and so did Uncle James

: Me and my boy Luka

June 2013

: Micky made Amelia an amazing “Curious George” cake for her 2nd birthday

: When Micky needed a documentary film maker, who else to turn to but her sister!

: We went to the Castro, and celebrated the Supreme Court reversing DoMA. What a historical moment!

: We saw Uncle James when we went back to NC for Alan & Hannah’s wedding

: It was a beautiful and fun weekend at Alan & Hannah’s wedding

July 2013

: Luka gets a kiss from his big sister!

: Luka’s first birthday celebrated with Turks and friends from North Carolina

: 4th of July in Sonoma is a family tradition!

: These two snoozers slept the whole flight back to SF

August 2013

: She’s such a fashion forward gal!

: Amelia’s digital piano in its fully wired up form

September 2013

: The girls chilling in the pool at the house we rented in Carmel Valley

: Our Labor Day trip with the Green family took us to Carmel Valley

: There go those handsome boys again!

: It wouldn’t be a good year without a Vegas trip. Don’t worry, 28 didn’t disappoint.

: Nothing better than a Skype call with Doruk upside down

October 2013

: Painting on daddy is fun!

: What a game! 4-0 Real over Copenhagen. First La Liga game

: Luka the painter needs no easel for he is his own canvas

: First championship I’ve won in years… and it felt so good.

: Old McDonald’s farm made it to the Rainbow Family Daycare Halloween Parade

: And then the company costumes were killer as well

November 2013

: Amelia’s first smore!

Final thoughts

A big focus for me this year was losing weight. I’ve given up soda as my New Year’s resolution, and I’ve done a pretty good job. I think this graph would concur:

The first product that I built as part of Big Fish, Big Pond was amplifize. I really love it, and while it’s closed off to registration, the group of us who use it are pretty rabid users. Check out this graph here (November is only a partial month):

The last hurdle left really is career. I didn’t get to the place where I wanted to in my career, and so the big question for me now is how do I get to that next level. It’s something that’s definitely on my mind, and a big part of what I’m going to solve in 29 going into 30.

Thanks everyone for being part of 28. Onward to 29!

just thinking out loud, Uncategorized 2

SCUBA – my old man hobby

As I dive deeper into being too old to play soccer, I’m trying to find a new sport to fall in love with. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be an individual sport (a.k.a not tennis), and I’m trying to find something that isn’t going to destroy my body (a.k.a running).

I tried to run a triathlon September 2012. The swimming part was awesome; the biking part was awesome; but my body just couldn’t keep up. It’s also a sport where I’d be competing, or just comparing myself, too much to others. I just don’t have the mental capacity to do that.

I tried golf. I love it. I just don’t have the money to play, or the time to get better. It’s a shame really because there’s something fascinating about the competition between me and the ball. It’s such a darn bastard that golf ball, but those few swings where you can get the ball to sing to your tune is just amazing. Once or twice every 50 strokes is tough though 🙂

So I think it’s going to be SCUBA diving.

I love the feeling of visiting an alien world, and the completely laid back culture of everyone who I’ve met who SCUBA dives. Combine that with interesting locations, ever changing scenery, and… photography, and I’m all set.

I’m going to be an old man SCUBA diver, and I’m going to love it. Check out some photos below:

: A sea anemone nested in the coral

: A really cool nudibranch attached to some kelp

: An octopus that we ran into

Fatherhood, Uncategorized 0

Balancing the moment

The natural order for me for a long time has been to avoid the present, and focus on the future. The promotion I’ve wanted so badly, and how good it was going to feel. The start up I’ve wanted so badly, and how much fun it was going to be. The dice I was going to throw, and how much money I would win.

But when it comes to Amelia and Luka, all of that has changed.

It is definitely possible to take for granted them being 2 and 1 year old respectively, and jump to 4, 10, 16, and beyond. And every now and then there are moments where I let myself do that. Take for example earlier today – Amelia and a new friend she made Eli were playing together wonderfully. They were bouncing on his bed, in the sandbox, banging on the drums, and just generally enjoying each other. And I found myself thinking, “So this is how father’s let their daughters marry someone. They make sure it’s someone who their daughter becomes better with.” And somehow it made that distant moment seem very close.

But then the rest of the day was spent in the extreme present. Playing in fountains, swimming in the pool, creating obstacle courses around the house. We got Amelia a play kitchen set, and we made play eggs and had afternoon tea. Luka ate kofte for the first time, and loved it. He gives kisses now, and then hugs you when he wants to let you know that he appreciates you’re there.

In those moments, there is no future. There’s no worry about broken hearts or SATs. There is simply an us.

And because of Amelia and Luka, I’ve started to apply this same philosophy elsewhere to try to help put things into perspective. I don’t know that it’s working yet, but I think it will definitely help me focus on the journey more and the destination less.

That’s something that I know now will work out in the future.