Becoming a PM, Uncategorized 0 comments on Starting with questions

Starting with questions

It’s very easy to see when there is trust in a culture/community/unit – people start with questions. 

The opposite is true as well. When there is no trust – people start with solutions. 

The reason that questions signify trust is that asking questions brings both parties into the topic without the need for defense. These questions often start with why did we assume, or why didn’t we assume. 

Solutions assume that there is some clear and present gap in the current status that requires immediate correction. They also don’t allow the questionee to share the framework they’ve built with the questioner. 
Usually though, those that start with solutions also come in with unaligned assumptions. And that’s where the true breakdown is. Because when assumptions, objectives, and agendas aren’t aligned and the conversation centers around how to fill specific gaps and holes, you don’t  build trust, you debate execution. 

 So I say lets get better at starting with questions. 

New Year Resolutions, Uncategorized 0 comments on Mid-year review

Mid-year review

I posted my resolutions for 2015 in January, and since we’re at the halfway point I thought I’d give an update.

Lose 30 pounds

Well pictures don’t lie:

 

I’m very solidly in the 180s now thanks to Ramadan. If I get back into the habit of exetcising after work everyday, and commit to just salad at lunch, I’m going to nail this.

That’s a big if though…

Read 12 books

So far, so good. I’ve added a Goodreads widget on the blog if you want to see what I’m reading, and I’ve come up with some blog post ideas as well, and I’ll get to writing them soon 🙂

Food-related resolutions

Sugar/honey in my tea only once per day (this resolution is suspended when in the South, and drinking sweet tea)

Totally failing at this, and I won’t worry about it for this year.

Increase my list of things I can cook beyond kofte, rice, and salad

I’m down with a scrambled egg like never before. We’ve also nailed a chicken cooking technique that I love. This one is a nice check.

Business-related resolutions

I’m pretty close to happy with this one so far. I need to write more, and that will definitely help me accelerate.

In general though, this is much less a part of me than in the past. I don’t know yet how I feel about that, but that’s definitely the case.

Personal-related resolutions

This one I get a zero on. I need to do this better.

With six months to go there is lots to accomplish still. But all in all good progress has been made.

just thinking out loud, Uncategorized 0 comments on Happy 4th Birthday my darling Amelia

Happy 4th Birthday my darling Amelia

Photo gallery of the last few days:

Some key highlights of your life as a 3 year old:

  • You learned to love swimming when we went up to Russian River for the Sonoma Race weekend
  • You went to go see Frozen in the theaters
  • You started at CDS as a Leaping Lizard
  • We visited Istanbul for the first time
  • For Halloween, you and your mom were fairies
  • We went to whale watching, and you saw dolphins & humpback whales
  • We went to Scotland for the first time, and saw Uncle Dan get married
  • You love dancing, science, writing letters, drawing, playing family, singing, rock climbing, and playing catch
  • You’ve become so much more confident in yourself, and that’s been wonderful to watch
  • You can write your name, and you know a lot of words that start with the letter A
  • Your favorite songs could be any of:
    • Let it go – Frozen
    • Tale as old as time – Beauty and the Beast
    • Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen
    • Lullaby – Billy Joel

      but I’m pretty sure it’s Let it go 🙂

It’s been a wonderful year my darling Amelia. Here’s to many more!

just thinking out loud, Uncategorized 1 comment on Congratulations Saket & Chrissy

Congratulations Saket & Chrissy

Congratulations to my dear, dear friend Saket who married an absolutely lovely lady this past weekend.

It took a lot of convincing to get Micky comfortable with me going, and I’m so glad I pulled it off.  You see, Micky and I lay claim to convincing Saket to ask Chrissy out. There was this one night in August of 2011. Saket was heading to Chicago to go to a music festival with his sister Sapana (who I finally met by the way). We were talking about life, obligation, happiness, collateral damage, and risks worth taking. Our lives parallel in so many ways, and so if there were ever a mirror in which I could talk and hear my reflection give me sound advice it would be in Saket. I hope I do the same thing for him.

And so Saket started his adventure that night. I’ll leave the details between those who know, but that journey led to a cross country red-eye, a great Southern lunch with my amazing brother, this genuine, honest, and beautiful cross-cultural wedding ceremony, a quietly amazing musical performance, and a tired flight home to my babies (who by the way wanted to know why they weren’t allowed to come to Uncle Saket’s wedding).

Photo gallery here:

Beyond just being present in the ceremony, Saket asked me to give a toast as well. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but it took me most of the dinner to write it down, practice it in my head, and not screw it up when I was in front of the crowd. Some tears made it out, but they were genuinely tears of joy.

Congratulations Saket. I hope as your journey continues it’s as wonderful as the moments you created for us this lovely weekend past.

 

Adventures in beekeeping, Uncategorized 0 comments on Beekeeping update – Video of the action

Beekeeping update – Video of the action

I promised my dad I would make a video of an inspection with all of the action. Here’s the intro video:

Today’s game plan was to fill up the sugar water, and then make sure that the hive is queen right. Queen right is just terminology to mean that there is a Queen who is laying eggs, and that the hive isn’t gearing up to swarm.

Then video number two is a bit more about fixing up the sugar water.

Honestly that’s become super easy to do. I never wear a suit anymore when I’m changing the sugar. I just go up to the hive, make sure the girls are in a decent mood, and then change the water.

On the other hand, when I’m opening up the hive itself, that’s a different story. The gloves don’t let me take good photos, but today I said screw it. My dad’s worth it. Here’s a non-glove inspection… or at least for the most part 🙂

Some cinematography to figure out, but otherwise a good 5 minutes if you ask me 🙂 And then here is a gallery of stills to go along for the ride 🙂

Fatherhood, Uncategorized 0 comments on There was a play about a squirrel with a special plum…

There was a play about a squirrel with a special plum…

Amelia and her Leaping Lizard’s class did their end of year event today. They’ve been studying squirrels all semester. Micky even went on a field trip with them to Golden Gate Park to find squirrels and draw them.

The end of year event was an adaptation of the classic children’s book, “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” by Eric Carle into “The Very Hungry Squirrel” by the Leaping Lizards.

Here’s my little plum making her on-stage debut:

Life Updates, Uncategorized 0 comments on My baby brother is a lawyer

My baby brother is a lawyer

It was a good two days with the family in Nashville celebrating Doruk graduating from Vanderbilt. I landed bright and early on Thursday morning, and we headed straight to see Walter Isaacson speak.

He did really well. If you know he’s quoting the amazing lines of the geniuses he studied, then it’s slightly less impressive, but nonetheless he threaded together some of the greatest minds in US history together into a really wonderful graduation speech.

Then we ate some wonderfully delicious food.

Meat and 3 at Arnold's in Nashville
Meat and 3 at Arnold’s in Nashville

We then made our way to downtown Nashville. We got burgers and tater tots for dinner, and then Doruk surprised us with tickets to the Grand Ole Opry!!

The opening acts were really great. The host was funny and a great storyteller. And then out came Charlie Daniels closing out the night with “Devil went down to Georgia”. It was amazing!

IMG_3518

The next day was graduation day. We found some shade, and watched the big ceremony. The chancellor’s speech was about passion, and it was awful. The law school talk was about being a great lawyer, and it was fantastic.

Doruk and friends were so happy. The parents and family were so proud. It was really wonderful.

Congratulations Doruk! You’re wonderful, and beginning what will be a wonderful journey. I hope these last three years will be the foundation for another 3+ decades of joy, passion, growth, inspiration, and changing the world.

 

just thinking out loud, Uncategorized 3 comments on The siren song of the South

The siren song of the South

I’m in Nashville for the next two days for Doruk’s graduation. It’s been a quick three years of law school, and now he’s getting ready for a big adventure in Brooklyn as a real estate lawyer. I’m incredibly proud of him. I’ll do a larger Nashville post Friday night/Saturday morning (with appropriate food shots of course).

But I realized tonight just how polarizing my love/hate relationship is with the South.

I love the food. It’s not good for your health, but it’s great for your soul. It’s made with love, and it may shorten your life, but it fills it with joy.

I love the kindness. People treat each other well. Please and thank you are standard. You say sir and ma’m where it’s appropriate.

I hate the racism. It’s rampant, and it’s everywhere. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

I hate the narrow mindedness. Folks are proud to be ignorant; proud to be backwards; and proud of their inability to change.

I love the music. I love country music. The instruments are played exceptionally. The lyrics are stories about real life.

I hate the religious fervor. It’s the most false form of Christianity possible.

But when the siren sings her song I come back. I chase my sweet tea. I eat my BBQ brisket and chicken. Then look across the railroad tracks and see all the things that are broken. And it’s as if the siren has crashed me against the rocks leaving me to drown at sea.

just thinking out loud, Uncategorized 0 comments on Kentucky Derby 2015

Kentucky Derby 2015

I love gambling.

I love gambling on horses. I think it’s a ton of fun. And the babies are pretty into it too. I think Micky likes it as well, but she won’t admit that she likes it 🙂

And so we headed over to Golden Gate Fields today to get our Kentucky Derby on. We swung by Berkeley Hats first to get the right attire, and then ran smack into a crazy mass of humanity all there to dress up fancy, wear cool headgear, and enjoy the races.

The food was decadent.

Chili cheese nachos!
Chili cheese nachos!

The gambling wasn’t so good 🙂 But Amelia did have a winner, and she was so excited! She turned $2 into $4. I turned more than that into less than that 🙂 Oh well, we had a wonderful time, and I look forward to doing it again next year.

Amelia winning!