Category: Fatherhood

Luka started singing the “ABCs” today.

Our bedtime routine is quite consistent. The kids tend to watch an episode of Curious George (movie or TV version is a nightly debate). Then, after a bit of a temper tantrum (but less so than before), we head to their bedroom to read, sing songs, and then go to bed.

Our book choices are plenty, but we tend to have the same book over and over again for a few nights in a row. Right now, we’re jamming to “One fish, Two fish”, some Maisy books, and “We’re going on a bear hunt”. Other favorites include anything by Susan Boynton and “Goodnight moon”.

After reading (anywhere from 1-3 books), Amelia turns the light off, and we sing.

The first song is always the “ABCs”, and then we do any variety of “Old MacDonald”, “Baa Baa Black Sheep”, “Itsy Bitsy Spider”, and then we always put the kids to bed to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”.

Clearly, through it all, Luka has heard his “ABCs” enough to start to sing it now, and tonight it was super cute. He got to “E”, and then when we joined him he got so embarrassed that he dug his head into the ground.

It was fantastic.

Long may he sing.

Another short post for time keeping sake. I got my first proper smooch from Luka today. I conned Amelia into giving me a kiss to get something, and I turned to Luka and said, “Now you too Luka.”

He puckered up, and planted one on my cheek.

It was wonderful 🙂

What a wonderful week of Amelia and Luka.

We spent last week in North Carolina visiting family and friends. It’s amazing to me how much they trust Doruk even though they barely see him. Maybe a month ago I would have said barely know him, but after this past week I know better than that. To know someone is clearly more than to have their presence be consistent in day-to-day life, but it took a 2.5 year old to teach me that.

Micky headed over the UK for a few days, and so the flight back was the three of us. They did wonderfully, and the folks on the plane made sure to say as much. Everyone is so impressed when a man can take his kids on his own on long haul flights. We’re definitely not post-sexism by any stretch of the imagination. Even so, I appreciate the accolades, and so let me not complain too much 🙂

Amelia had her 2.5 year old checkup on Wednesday. After screwing up the time, and moving things around at work, we finally got the ball rolling. Measurements came in at:

• 38.5″ tall (> 100th percentile)
• 35 lbs (75th percentile)
• Smart, fun and awesome (okay, I made this one up)

The doctor suggested she get her flu shot, and so we buckled down and got ready (read, I buckled down and got ready). Amelia walked into the hallway, saw the nurse, and asked, “What’s that little girl doing?” (which is her token question about everyone these days). I explained that she was get Amelia’s shot ready, and then the nurse said that after she got her shot Amelia could get a sticker.

Amelia immediately responded with, “I want my shot.”

I wonder if any nurse has ever heard that before! When all was ready, and Amelia was in my lap, they rolled up her sleeve, pricked her, and… no tears, no fuss, just a request to go get her stickers.

It was AMAZING!

The next morning, Amelia decided to sleep in while Luka and I played in the living room before Noelle got here. He’s grown up so much in the last six weeks. Words. Opinions. Laughter. And the best smile I’ve ever seen. Luka smiles, and the world lights up. It’s truly amazing.

Then, today, the two of them chase each other around the house, “cook” breakfast, only eat the chocolate chips, and generally make an ordinary Saturday extraordinary. Amelia tops it all off by saying, “I’ll do the dishes” in a way only Amelia could.

So if anyone has a recipe for freezing these moments, and making sure they never go away, please let me know.

The natural order for me for a long time has been to avoid the present, and focus on the future. The promotion I’ve wanted so badly, and how good it was going to feel. The start up I’ve wanted so badly, and how much fun it was going to be. The dice I was going to throw, and how much money I would win.

But when it comes to Amelia and Luka, all of that has changed.

It is definitely possible to take for granted them being 2 and 1 year old respectively, and jump to 4, 10, 16, and beyond. And every now and then there are moments where I let myself do that. Take for example earlier today – Amelia and a new friend she made Eli were playing together wonderfully. They were bouncing on his bed, in the sandbox, banging on the drums, and just generally enjoying each other. And I found myself thinking, “So this is how father’s let their daughters marry someone. They make sure it’s someone who their daughter becomes better with.” And somehow it made that distant moment seem very close.

But then the rest of the day was spent in the extreme present. Playing in fountains, swimming in the pool, creating obstacle courses around the house. We got Amelia a play kitchen set, and we made play eggs and had afternoon tea. Luka ate kofte for the first time, and loved it. He gives kisses now, and then hugs you when he wants to let you know that he appreciates you’re there.

In those moments, there is no future. There’s no worry about broken hearts or SATs. There is simply an us.

And because of Amelia and Luka, I’ve started to apply this same philosophy elsewhere to try to help put things into perspective. I don’t know that it’s working yet, but I think it will definitely help me focus on the journey more and the destination less.

That’s something that I know now will work out in the future.

This post is really meant to act as a historical marker.

Amelia has heard, “I love you” since the day she was born. I would like to think that all children do, but I know better than that. When she was about three months old, you’d say, “Amelia. I love you!” and she would squeal in delight. Since she’s been talking both Micky and I have tried to get her to say I love you back at us, and…

today it finally happened 🙂

I said to her, “Amelia, say I love you to daddy”, and she said, “I love you”, and then immediately was quite proud of herself. She had a big smile on her face, and I immediately bear hugged and kissie monstered her to pieces.

And that’s why it’s all worth it.

We took a vacation to Hawaii this past week. It was our first vacation since our Tamales Bay expo with a little baby Amelia in July 2011. This has been a LONG time coming.

We went back to Maui (which was the site of our babymoon before Amelia), but this time we booked a condo. We learned that restaurants on Maui are expensive, with okay food, and too many people, and so we wanted our own space, our own kitchen, and then more room for the babies.

Our sunsets were amazing. We faced due West, and so it was hot as could be in the afternoon. But then as the sun went over that point in the sky where heat goes away it was just our couch, and this glowing pink orb across the Pacific Ocean. It was so beautiful.

Micky got me an underwater camera for our anniversary present. It was a totally awesome gift. Taking photos underwater is quite hard. A lot harder than I thought for a bunch of different reasons than originally anticipated, but I didn’t do horribly I don’t think. Here is one:

You can see the rest of them here. I’m really excited to keep practicing, though it might be a lot of pool time until I can get back into the ocean.

Amelia absolutely LOVED the ocean. She was running in the waves, and splashing about. We took some videos, but I haven’t had a chance to download them yet. She also tanned fantastically, and there were no incidents of sun burn (except for Micky, for whom I’m not responsible for her skincare).

Luka and I bonded quite a bit too. It was awesome.

I really needed the time off, came back refreshed, and now I’m really excited about the next adventures coming on the horizon.

Amelia has had her surgery, and is doing very well. I was most definitely scared shitless on Monday of this week, but am now much happier, and most definitely relieved.

They gave her a little belly button, and it’s quite cute. That’s the last plastic surgery that she’ll ever get as far as I’m concerned though.

I just want to thank everyone who has supported us through all of this. The amazing team at TokBox who never once said that Micky or I couldn’t go to get things done for Amelia. The family and friends who have called, texted, and emailed. And of course my darling Micky without whom I never would have survived this whole ordeal.

If ever there is someone out there who needs help through a birth defect situation, and specifically an oemophalocele, please contact me on this blog. The biggest thing we need in these moments is someone who listens, and after the miracle I’ve just lived the least I could do is be an ear to someone who needs it.

The next amazing Amelia update will hopefully be about the big 1. I can’t wait 🙂