Category: just thinking out loud

I went to visit a preschool for Amelia on Wednesday. There are a lot of really great things about it – an amazing play space, lots of focus on the arts and music, cool teachers.

One of their primary focuses, and selling points really, is their diversity. They talked about diversity of family – one parent, two parents, many parents. They talked about diversity in race. They even mentioned socio-economics (but it was quite hard to see around the school as we walked around).

I fell in love with the school more and more as we saw a music class, students doing all sorts of cool art projects, and the AMAZING play space.

We got to the end, and they started to speak about their end of week international music and dance event. This week is going to be holiday season themed, and the director of the school emphasized that they would minimize the role of religion. In my head I wanted to scream, “WHY!?!”.

There’s a very real trend in Californian liberalism that speaks to a diverse culture that excludes Christians. It may just generally exclude religion, but it very explicitly excludes Christians. I don’t understand that train of thought at all, and I find it rather offensive that anyone who can accept that there is a higher power and subscribes to the mythology surrounding that is cast out as a right-wing, narrow-minded nut job.

There is no holiday season without Christmas, and there is no Christmas without Christianity. There are plenty of things that radical Christians do that drives me crazy. Their stance on homosexuality. The hypocrisy I see in the South and Midwest around charity and government’s role in helping the poor. But I would never exclude Christians from a conversation because it’s an uncomfortable one. That’s a very narrow minded view of the world.

I also similarly doubt that there is nearly as big a deal made of not emphasizing the religious aspects of the other cultures that are celebrated in this weekly event. I can’t say for sure as I’ve never seen it, but if a culture celebrates its faith through music and dance, and the kids are singing and dancing, then I just don’t understand the difference.

I think there’s a genuine distrust of religion on the coasts in the US. Somehow we need to walk off of this cliff and disassociate religion with fanaticism and zealotry. The goal would be, of course, to re-introduce religion into civil discourse, and understand that intelligent minds can disagree and both be right.

Cutting religion out of the holiday season is the anti-thesis of that.

I turn 29 tomorrow, and I want to tell the story of 28 through photos. I also want to stop for a moment, and just say that I genuinely understand how lucky I am. I don’t have many friends, but the ones I have are incredible. I don’t have many passions, but the ones I do are incredibly rewarding. And I don’t have my heart in own hands, but the family that I’ve entrusted it to has done nothing but reward me for that faith. I learned all of that this past year in such unique and amazing ways. Good-bye 28. You were quite an adventure.

November 2012

December 2012

January 2013

April 2013

May 2013

June 2013

July 2013

August 2013

September 2013

October 2013

November 2013

Final thoughts

• A big focus for me this year was losing weight. I’ve given up soda as my New Year’s resolution, and I’ve done a pretty good job. I think this graph would concur:

• The first product that I built as part of Big Fish, Big Pond was amplifize. I really love it, and while it’s closed off to registration, the group of us who use it are pretty rabid users. Check out this graph here (November is only a partial month):

• The last hurdle left really is career. I didn’t get to the place where I wanted to in my career, and so the big question for me now is how do I get to that next level. It’s something that’s definitely on my mind, and a big part of what I’m going to solve in 29 going into 30.

Thanks everyone for being part of 28. Onward to 29!

As I dive deeper into being too old to play soccer, I’m trying to find a new sport to fall in love with. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be an individual sport (a.k.a not tennis), and I’m trying to find something that isn’t going to destroy my body (a.k.a running).

I tried to run a triathlon September 2012. The swimming part was awesome; the biking part was awesome; but my body just couldn’t keep up. It’s also a sport where I’d be competing, or just comparing myself, too much to others. I just don’t have the mental capacity to do that.

I tried golf. I love it. I just don’t have the money to play, or the time to get better. It’s a shame really because there’s something fascinating about the competition between me and the ball. It’s such a darn bastard that golf ball, but those few swings where you can get the ball to sing to your tune is just amazing. Once or twice every 50 strokes is tough though 🙂

So I think it’s going to be SCUBA diving.

I love the feeling of visiting an alien world, and the completely laid back culture of everyone who I’ve met who SCUBA dives. Combine that with interesting locations, ever changing scenery, and… photography, and I’m all set.

I’m going to be an old man SCUBA diver, and I’m going to love it. Check out some photos below:

I just had to send the following email to our landlords who refuse to cooperate with us about showing the property as we get ready to leave it.

[Names redacted]

We are very disappointed that you showed the house on Friday. We could not have seen the notice, and you knew this. You blatantly went behind our backs when we specifically asked you not to enter the house. I understand that you own the property, but as of this moment, and until the end of the month, this is our home. This is where our personal belongings lay. This is where our memories, heirlooms, jewelry, and valuables are stored. The fact that, without the opportunity to collect these things and make sure they were properly stored away, our home was opened up to strangers is completely inexcusable, and beyond decent.

All we’re asking for is a shred of decency, and I don’t think it’s too much to ask when we have done a good job taking care of your property.

We’ve put in a lawn, at personal expense to ourselves, and it looks great.

We’ve dealt with all sorts of shortcomings to the property with very little complaint:
* Backdoor in the kitchen doesn’t open (against code)
* Poor oven that rarely gets to the desired temperature
* No ventilation for the dryer (against code)
* A broken toilet flush
* Low water pressure in the sink in the bathroom
* Really poor electrical wiring in the kitchen (definitely against code)

And ultimately, we’ve kept the house in a condition so that with very little work you could turn it over in the immediate term after we move out of the house.

To ask that our belongings, and our personal space, not be invaded while we get things organized is not asking too much. To ask that we work together to open the house for showings so that it does not interfere with the children’s nap schedule is also not asking too much.

I hope that in the spirit of compromise we can work together moving forward.
—
Melih

I just don’t understand how we went from the best landlord I’ve ever had in Jen Segal to these people. We clearly took Jen for granted, and just didn’t appreciate enough everything that she did for us.

We also too hastily jumped into a contract with people who we had a bad hunch about. If this doesn’t teach me that the product is only the tangible good of a contract nothing will. Understanding the intangibles, and how they will affect the outcome of a contract, is now top of my list of things to watch out for.

I just can’t imagine why anyone would treat someone like this. Pathetic. I’m so pissed off. BTW, my vacation was awesome, until I came home to this shit. Fuck you landlords.

As I’m sure we all know by now, North Carolina recently passed Amendment One which institutionalized marriage as between one man and one woman in the state constitution. It is a black eye for a state that was so pivotal to the civil rights movement in the 1950s and 1960s. 60% of North Carolinians who voted disagree with me, but I don’t think that 60% of North Carolina’s registered voters do.

This is the point that I want to speak to in this blog post.

The passage of Amendment One was a clear demonstration of how democracy in the US is a misrepresentation of the majority through the zealotry of a motivated minority.

The California proposition system is another example of the same.

Specifically, the motivated parties bring forward a change at a point in the voting cycle in which they are guaranteed to win as opposed to when the majority at large is motivated to vote. In North Carolina, the motivated minority was actually the majority party of Republicans in the General Assembly. Polls showed that most North Carolinians thought civil unions, and through civil unions the benefits of marriage, should be had by all. The Republicans in the General Assembly did not.

A couple things that the Republicans did masterfully:

1. They put the issue on the ballot in May instead of in November. This put most students back home or in exams. It also meant most Democrats, who are not in a presidential primary cycle, would not be motivated to vote.
2. They prevented any debate from occurring when the issue was brought to the floor of the legislative houses. Debate could have derailed support, and may have prevented the issue from getting on the May ballot.
3. They used the evangelical community to rally support around the bill. They turned Amendment One into a social issue when at its core it is truly a legal issue.

And so, through these rather undemocratic means, the Republicans democratically pushed through Amendment One.

Would it have passed anyway? I don’t know. But I am certain it would not have been 60-40 had the vote happened in November.

I’ve thought quite a bit about how I would fix such a system. For this specific case, I’d like to kill the word marriage from all government documents. I’ll come back to that in another post. However, for the more general case, I wonder if we need to dampen true democracy. Have a randomly selected group of individuals act as guardians of common sense. What we have now is clearly broken, but a solution isn’t easily forthcoming either.

Ultimately, I think Socrates was right – democracy just doesn’t work.

I was summoned for jury duty about a month ago, and thought to myself, well shit, there’s no way I’m getting out of this.

I got to the court house at 1pm this past Monday, and hunkered down for what I thought was going to be a long and boring day. They quite quickly called us into the court room, and then sat the original 23 in the box. Who was juror #9? Me!

The judge asked a bunch of standard questions; the lawyers asked a bunch of standard questions; a couple of folks got dismissed; and then we were seated. I was juror #9 on a three-day DUI case where they defendant had refused to plead.

And that’s where it gets interesting…

You see, this wasn’t a standard DUI case at all. This was a case of did he see what he claims, did he do what they claimed, and whose credibility is the most dependable. The story goes something like this – on a Saturday morning less than a year ago, someone drove a car down a street in San Francisco without their headlights on. At the same time, a CHP cruiser was turning onto that same road. The individual noticed, parked their car, and were waiting the CHP out. The CHP did a loop around the block to find the same (or similar) car (but a slightly different color), and a fellow getting out who was clearly intoxicated.

There were two counts:

1. Driving under the influence of an alcoholic beverage
2. Driving with a blood alcohol content of 0.08 or higher by weight

I didn’t know those could be different either, but oh I learned!

The cops (there were two) had legit stories, but didn’t (for me) remove all doubt about the consistency of the car. At night, under street lights, a car that moved for a few seconds a distance of 50 feet feels like the eyes playing tricks on you. It just didn’t sit.

The lab folks were a unique bunch. The head of the labs was amazing. Great personality. Fantastic tie. Told the story professionally, and really taught us about the mental state of an individual at 0.08 & 0.12+ blood alcohol content. It turns out that at 0.08, most individuals are still convinced that they can drive. However, above 0.12, folks start to understand that they are way too intoxicated to be able to drive. That played a very interesting role in the deliberation as well. The actual lab tech clearly didn’t want to be there, and it was a wasted 30 minutes for the prosecution. For him, lesson learned.

The defendant was quite the character. Vietnamese immigrant. Didn’t speak a word of English. If he did, it was 10 words max. Clearly believed he was innocent, and had gone through, according to the defense lawyer, many lawyers who disagreed.

Let’s stop to analyze this for a second. The SF City government got this guy a lawyer. They got this guy 2 translators who switched every few hours. And the US legal system guaranteed him a fair trial even though he wasn’t a citizen. If that isn’t amazing, then tell me what is. This fact alone made me realize that I was party to something amazing, humbling, and, I think, relatively unique.

Back to the case.

When we got the case, and started to deliberate, it was clear that intoxication wasn’t a question. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that he was intoxicated. The real question was whether the prosecution proved beyond a reasonable doubt in the evidence that it was the defendant who was driving.

A bunch of us said no, some of us said yes. I got elected foreman. We debated, questioned, and challenged. At the end of the day, we couldn’t get past a bunch of us said no, and some of us said yes. The judge declared a mistrial, and we were dismissed.

I have to say, I won’t ask to get out of jury duty if it can be contained to one week. It’s an amazing process; you meet great people; and you make a difference in a system where even the little guy has a chance. I was really honored to be a part of it all in the end.

Last note: I hope when they re-try the case, that justice wins. Justice is the only side that any of us should root for